Pre-Op distress

Today was my pre-op appointment with Dr. Looney. First, I met with Debbie for the history and physical (H&P), now Debbie, is a very sweet lady, taking care to explain what is expected the day of the procedure.She listened to my heart and breath sounds and we even joked about my being a healthy fat girl except for the knee.She was sweet, that is, until she sent me for the EKG. Alright, i'm thinking no harm in that, my bra is clean, stick a few electrodes on me, sit still for 30 seconds, remove sticky things, then finish the appointment. Then I heard remove your shirt and bra and put this gown on backwards. WHAT THE HECK?!!!!
So I did as I was told, wound the gown tightly around me, as if it were a fine egyptian cotton robe and laid back on the table. The nurse, with a desire that hasn't been directed towards me in quite some time, ripped open my gown exposing my..my...self for the world to see. I'm glad Verne wasn't there filming one of Loo and Verne's Adventures or my sagging boobs and stretchmarks would be all over you tube by now and the psychiatrists would be overrun with clients.Anyway, Nurse Rip-emoff, did have the courtesy to cover up my belly button.Thanks alot for that but it was too little too late.For those who don't know me, I am a healthcare professional, a Paramedic to be exact, and although this is not a blog for giving healthcare advice, I have performed many EKG's without exposing a person's everything.
Now that's over with, I move on to the next phase sitting in the waiting room, playing on the BlackBerry. Nurse: Ms. Loo, come with me to get X-rays. We are glad you wore shorts because we need to check your alignment. Great, more exposure, nurse excuse me could you let me put that there?
Finally, it's time to see Dr Looney, after a knee exam, we discuss the upcoming surgery. Which happens to be on Cinco De Mayo, do you think I can get a margarita IV? The first surgery is arthroscopic Lateral release which is  basically cutting the retinaculum that is too tight around the patella (kneecap).It will result in excessive swelling per Dr. Looney, even more than the microfracture. In that case my leg may bust, just kidding but it's going to be rough.